How to Find a Therapist Who’s the Right Fit for You
By: Dylan Stancil
A Therapist’s Guide to Finding a Therapist
Trying to find great support for your mental health is challenging. There are a million different mental health professionals, all with different education, credentials, specialties, theories, availability, and cost. I hope this guide demystifies the process of finding a therapist and provides practical steps to help you find a professional who can support you in meeting your goals.
This guide does not need to be read from start to finish; skip around, take what’s useful and leave the rest.
Getting Started
Before we scroll through endless directory listings and websites, let's take a minute to think through a few questions that will help us narrow our search later.
What’s the biggest issue on my mind right now? Maybe you are feeling stuck between competing priorities, navigating a complex relationship, working to become a better version of yourself, managing a pre-existing mental health diagnosis, or a combination of a bunch of different things.
How would I like to be supported by my therapist? This is a big question, and your answer can change over time. To figure out what you are looking for today, you might consider questions like:
Am I looking to explore how the past impacts the present or to be equipped with new behaviors to practice?
Do I prefer a clear agenda and trackable progress or open conversation focused on where I am today?
For me right now, what’s the right balance between feeling challenged and feeling comforted?
Would I prefer a therapist:
Who is a neutral blank slate helping me figure myself out?
Who takes an active approach by providing resources and education?
Who prioritizes the relationship between us by occasionally sharing about their life experience and how they see me?
What kind of person can I trust to support and understand me? Here we are thinking about the lived experience and demographics of your provider. For some people it is really helpful to work with a counselor who has a similar background, religious beliefs, or political views. Others value gaining the perspective of someone who has lived a different life or has dissimilar beliefs.
Logistics
Now that we have a clearer idea of what we want from counseling and the kind of person we may work well with, let's dive into the practical details.
Cost & Payment Types
I won’t pretend that high-quality therapy is inexpensive; it’s not. A 2025 study published by SimplePractice found that in the United States, the average price per session is approximately $139. While I genuinely believe counseling is a worthwhile investment in your well-being, it’s important to consider your financial situation to determine what you can afford.
Private Pay
Private pay means you will pay for services directly out of pocket. This is similar to what you may do for a car repair or home service. In my area, rates range from $70 to $200 per session.
Tip Many private pay therapists reserve a percentage of their case load for reduced rate (sometimes called sliding-scale) clients. If you find someone you are interested in working with but cannot afford their rate, reach out and ask about this.
Private Pay Pros:
Increased privacy: Private-pay therapists do not share information about diagnoses or treatments with insurance providers.
No Diagnosis Requirement: Not everyone who seeks or could benefit from counseling has a diagnosable mental health disorder; however, insurance providers require all clients to receive a diagnosis for treatment.
No Session Limits or Treatment Restrictions: Seeing a private pay counselor gives you more control over your treatment. You can work on the things that matter to you, at your pace.
Selection: Paying for services directly allows you the freedom to find a counselor who is a good fit for you, not your insurance company.
Private Pay Cons:
Cost: Paying out of pocket for services can be expensive and is not a viable option for everyone.
Potential for over-treatment: Without an insurance company mandating that you stop treatment, it is possible that you could continue seeing a therapist for longer than needed.
Full disclosure: I am a private-pay therapist and choose to see a private-pay therapist. In my opinion, this model allows for higher-quality care. That said, there are plenty of excellent therapists who I know provide fantastic care within insurance-based systems.
Insurance
Depending on your specific health insurance plan, your insurer may pay for some or all costs associated with mental health treatment the insurer deems medically necessary. To learn about your specific plan, including your deductible, copay, coinsurance, coverage, and other requirements, you will need to contact your insurance provider.
Insurance Pros
Cost: Using insurance may decrease the amount you have to pay out of pocket for therapy.
Deductible Contribution: Depending on your plan, the cost of counseling may be applied to your deductible, reducing out-of-pocket medical expenses later in the plan year.
Selection: If you are in an area with many therapists, requiring that they take your insurance can help quickly narrow the list.
Insurance Cons
Diagnosis: Insurance providers require therapists to give you a diagnosis, which is recorded in your medical record. Insurance may also audit your counselor, revealing additional treatment information.
Session Limits: Insurers often limit the number of sessions you can receive per plan year. Navigating this limitation requires you to prioritize certain concerns while leaving other challenges unaddressed.
Selection: If few therapists in your area accept your insurance, you may see longer wait times or have difficulty finding a good fit.
Surprise Billing: If you are unfamiliar with insurance terms such as deductibles or coinsurance, you may start therapy and later receive a large bill from your insurance company. Depending on your situation, these bills can make it just as expensive as paying out of pocket.
Other Options
Community Mental Health Clinics: Community clinics are great low- or no-cost options for those who cannot afford traditional therapy. These services are often funded through government programs or private donations. Contacting your local health department is a great way to learn about clinics serving people in your area.
Counselors in Training/Interns: Most, if not all, mental health professionals must complete a number of client-facing hours as part of their education program. Licensed professionals supervise these students to ensure you receive safe and effective care. Working with a counseling intern can be a great way to start therapy at a lower cost while supporting future mental health professionals.
Ultimately, getting connected with a professional is the best thing you can do for your mental health regardless of how you pay for services. There are excellent clinicians in every setting and the factors that are most important to you should guide this decision.
Online or In-Person
As with paying for services, the decision of whether to do therapy online or in person depends on your circumstances. Most therapists I speak with prefer seeing clients in person but believe it is also possible to do great work virtually. If you are considering online counseling, it is important to make sure that you have a private area where you will be uninterrupted and a device capable of streaming high-quality video and audio. Additionally, not all mental health conditions can be treated effectively over the internet, making it important to consult with your mental health professional consistently to make sure you are getting appropriate care.
Online Counseling Pros
Selection: Working with a therapist virtually expands the pool of professionals you can choose from, helping to ensure you find a great fit.
Scheduling: Virtual services can provide greater flexibility in scheduling by allowing you to get support at a time that works in your schedule. I’ve known clients who were able to schedule their sessions during the traditional workday. The session fit into their schedule like a standing work meeting, allowing them to log in from their car or office and skip the drive.
Accessibility: For people who lack access to reliable transportation or face mobility challenges, online counseling can provide excellent care without the added stress of travel.
Online Counseling Cons
Confidentiality: Depending on your living situation, it may be more difficult to ensure your privacy. For clients, concerns about whether what they share is truly private can lead to hesitancy in disclosing important information, limiting how much they can get out of the therapeutic process.
Distraction: Some people find themselves more distracted during sessions when working online or from home. Dogs barking, cats scratching at the door, or kids coming into the room can all derail conversation and slow the pace of therapy.
Technology: While therapists are required to utilize HIPAA-compliant tools to conduct sessions, having an additional 3rd party involved may increase the possibility of a privacy breach. Additionally, technology issues can lead to more frequent interruptions, whether it be a dying battery, internet outage, or forgotten password.
Connection: The relationship between you and your therapist is one of the most important factors in reaching your therapy goals. Although it is possible to build a deep and meaningful therapeutic relationship virtually, it is more difficult to do so.
The Search
After taking some time to answer the first three questions of this guide and thinking about how you would like to pay for and receive services, we can begin finding possible matches and narrowing the field.
Where to look
There are dozens, if not hundreds, of online directories allowing you to browse the profiles of thousands of potential therapists. In my experience, the best places to find a therapist include:
Psychology Today– Psychology Today is the largest online directory in the US, making it a great place for most people to begin their search.
Mental Health Match – Mental Health Match asks you to complete a survey about your needs and then “matches” you with several potential fits.
Open Path Collective – Open Path specializes in matching you with lower-cost therapy options. This service requires sign-up and the payment of a one-time membership fee before you can schedule your first appointment.
Inclusive Therapists – Inclusive Therapists helps to connect BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and people with marginalized identities with inclusive and affirming care.
Insurer’s Website – If you would like to use your health insurance benefits to pay for therapy, your best bet is to visit your health plan's website to find a list of in-network providers.
Filters
This is where many of your answers from the first sections of this guide will come in handy. Making good use of each site’s filtering options can help simplify your search by quickly weeding out people who are not a good fit.
Location
Your location is probably the most important filter. Therapists are required by law to be licensed in the state where the client is physically located at the time of the session. Filtering by zip code helps ensure the professional you are considering is properly licensed in your state.
Tip: If you often travel between the same two states, say Georgia & California, it may be worth the extra effort to find a therapist who holds a license in both states.
Gender
Your answer to question three of the guide will be helpful here. Most sites allow you to filter between male and female counselors, with some sites providing options for non-binary and transgender professionals. Go with your gut here; if you often get along better with women than men, there is no shame in filtering for a female therapist and vice versa.
In Person or Online
You can refer back to the pros and cons discussed earlier for more info on this section. Consider your current living situation and how it may affect your ability to attend or remain attentive in therapy.
Tip: Many therapists who work with people in person are open to seeing some clients virtually. If you find someone you would like to work with who only lists in-person availability, it may be worth emailing them to see if they could do virtual work.
Age Groups
In my experience, it is easiest to find therapists for teens and adults. Effective work with toddlers and children requires specialized training that most therapists lack.
Approximate age groups – Toddler: 1 to 3 years, Child: 4 to 12 years, Teenager: 13 to 18 years, Adult: 19-65, Older Adult: 65+.
Ethnicity
This is another place to return to question three from the guide. The most important thing is that you find someone who you feel safe, understood, and respected by. If working with someone from a similar ethnic background helps achieve that kind of relationship, then it may be worth seeking out.
Tip: Depending on the directory, the ethnicity filter either selects therapists with the ethnicity you selected or therapists with experience supporting clients of that ethnicity.
Language
The impact of participating in counseling using a person’s native language or second language is understudied. Of the few studies that exist, it appears that, when possible, a person receiving treatment in their native language will experience better outcomes than someone receiving treatment in a non-native language. However, receiving therapy in any language someone is proficient in can be effective.
Faith
For many people, faith and religion are important parts of who they are, and some prefer to see someone with knowledge of specific faith traditions. As with ethnicity, in recent decades there has been a movement in therapy towards a deeper understanding of how these beliefs impact clients and how we, as therapists, can best support people with different spiritual beliefs. While most therapists are capable of providing excellent care to people with different perspectives, it can be helpful here to reflect on question three from earlier in this guide to determine what role you would like faith to play in your therapeutic process.
Specialties
It’s easiest to think of specialties as the kinds of problems that the therapist you are looking at is skilled at treating. This filter can help you weed out therapists who may not be a good fit for the specific challenges you hope to address in counseling. Here, it’s worth referring back to the guide’s first question to understand the concerns that led you to seek support.
Types of Therapy (Modalities)
This is the most complicated filter option for non-therapists and therapists alike. There are hundreds of different theories and techniques, all with their own strengths and limitations. In my opinion, unless you have been referred to a specific kind of therapy by a mental health professional, this filter can be more trouble than it’s worth. Research consistently shows that the quality of the relationship between therapist and client is more predictive of good outcomes than any specific type of therapy.
You can find more info about the different kinds of therapy here.
Decoding the Titles (Credentials)
Something you are sure to notice when looking for a therapist is the seemingly infinite combinations of letters after names and overlapping titles. This alphabet soup is meant to provide people with a quick way to determine an individual's qualifications. Still, in a sea of profiles, they can become another source of confusion and overwhelm.
Psychiatrist (MD or DO)
Psychiatrists are medical doctors specializing in the diagnosis, treatment, and management of mental health disorders. Psychiatrists can prescribe medication and are qualified to assess the mental and physical aspects of mental health.
Historically, psychiatrists provided treatment that included a combination of psychotherapy and medication, but today less than half of psychiatrists offer therapy. Due to pressure from insurance companies, the majority of psychiatrists now focus solely on medication management.
Common reasons you may seek help from a Psychiatrist:
Considering medications for your mental health symptoms.
Dealing with medical diagnoses that may be impacting your mental health.
Relying heavily on alcohol or drugs.
Suspecting a complex, chronic, or severe mental health condition like Bipolar Disorder, Eating Disorders, or Schizophrenia
Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (PMHNP)
PMHNPs are registered nurses who have completed a postgraduate certificate, master's degree, or doctorate in the field of nursing and have attained additional certification in Psychiatric Mental Health. Like psychiatrists, these professionals can prescribe medications, including controlled substances. Depending on your state’s laws, they may be required to work under a Medical Doctor.
Common reasons you may seek help from a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner:
Considering medications for your mental health symptoms.
Looking for long-term medication management.
Needing a prescriber with more availability than a Psychiatrist.
Suspecting a common mental health condition like Anxiety, Depression, or ADHD.
Psychologist (PsyD or PhD)
Psychologists have earned a doctoral degree and are trained in psychological research, testing & evaluation for complex mental health conditions, and treatment of mental health challenges. In most states, psychologists cannot prescribe medication.
Common reasons you may seek help from a Psychologist:
Seeking formal diagnostic testing, especially for ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, and learning difficulties.
Seeking legal or official documentation of mental health symptoms
Suspecting a complex, chronic, or severe mental health condition like Bipolar Disorder, Personality Disorder, or Treatment-Resistant Depression.
Counselor (LPC or APC)
Counselors are licensed mental health professionals who have earned a master’s degree in counseling, which includes 600+ hours of supervised practice. Counselors are trained to assess, diagnose, and treat mental health conditions through the use of evidence-based psychotherapy and counseling. Counselors also often work with clients without a diagnosis, instead working to improve overall well-being.
Common reasons you may seek help from a Counselor:
Considering psychotherapy for your mental health symptoms.
Managing moderately complex mental health conditions such as Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and PTSD.
Addressing life challenges not associated with mental health disorders like grief, burnout, relationship conflict, existential concerns, and life changes.
Depending on your state’s licensing laws, you may also see credentials like: LMHC, LPCA, LAPC, LCPC, LCMHC, or LPCC. Titles containing “Associate” show that the professional is in the process of completing the 2-5 years of supervised post-graduate practice required to become independently licensed.
Clinical Social Worker (LCSW or LMSW)
Clinical Social Workers are licensed mental health professionals who have completed a master’s degree in social work. Their training and practice is often broad in scope. In addition to providing counseling, Clinical Social Workers are skilled in helping individuals obtain services, building community health programs, and advocating for policy changes.
Common reasons you may seek help from a Clinical Social Worker:
Seeking support focused on navigating systems or accessing resources.
Interested in exploring how the external environment and social systems contribute to mental health symptoms.
Addressing challenges like unemployment, chronic illness, divorce, or death.
Depending on your state’s licensing laws, you may also see credentials like: LGSW, LICSW, LISW, or LMSW. Titles containing “Master” or “Graduate” show that the professional is in the process of completing the minimum of 2 years of supervised post-graduate practice required to become independently licensed.
Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT or AMFT)
Marriage and Family Therapists have completed a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and are licensed to provide mental health services. Their approach is often brief and solution-focused. Marriage and Family Therapists prioritize change in the family system as a whole and are skilled in navigating complex family and interpersonal dynamics.
Common reasons you may seek help from a Marriage and Family Therapist:
Navigating challenges in a marriage or relationship.
Supporting a loved one living with diagnoses such as schizophrenia, anorexia, autism, or chronic illness.
Processing the impacts of adult or adolescent substance use on the family.
Depending on your state’s licensing laws, you may also see credentials like: LCMFT, LIMFT, LAMFT, or LMFTA. Titles containing “Associate” show that the professional is in the process of completing the 2-5 years of supervised post-graduate practice required to become independently licensed.
Potential Fits
Let’s further narrow down our search to 3-5 potential therapists that you think may be a great fit. Reflecting on your answers to question 2 at the beginning of the guide can be very helpful at this stage.
As you think about how you would like to be supported by a therapist, start by reading through the profiles of therapists presented after filtering on the qualities that matter most to you.
Tip: If, after filtering, you still have a high number of potential fits, it can be helpful to intentionally limit the number of profiles you plan to review. You can create a rule for yourself, such as “I will review the profiles on the first three pages and find the 3-5 people I am most interested in working with.”
Reaching Out & Scheduling
Contacting Potential Therapists
Now that we have a more manageable list of possible matches, we can begin reaching out. Most directories, such as Psychology Today, include a contact form so you can reach out to a potential therapist directly. Otherwise, I recommend reaching out through email to eliminate the back-and-forth phone tag.
This can be an intimidating step, so I have provided an example message that you can fill in to use yourself.
Hi [therapist name],
My name is [your name]. I am looking for a therapist who can help me with [current challenge or answer to question one] and thought you might be a good fit.
Are you currently accepting new clients? If so, do you offer a free consultation call? I want to learn more about you and share some of what I am looking for in a therapist.
Thank you!
[Your name]
[Your email address]
[Phone Number]
Phone Consultation
While it is often possible to book your first session through a directory listing or the therapist’s website, I highly recommend taking advantage of free consultation calls before scheduling. These calls can help you discover how well you naturally get along with a potential therapist and help the therapist ensure they are a good fit for your needs, all before you have spent any money.
Questions you might ask
What experience do you have working with concerns like mine?
What can I expect in a typical session with you?
How would you describe your therapy style?
How do you track success with clients?
How long will the first session be?
How long are most sessions?
How much does each session cost?
Do you accept my insurance plan?
What else should I know before working with you?
Based on what you know so far, do you believe we’re a good fit? If not, do you have any recommendations for other providers?
Questions you might be asked
Contact information (Name, date of birth, address, phone number, email)
What has led you to seek support right now?
Have you been in therapy before? If so, what worked and what didn’t?
What are you hoping therapy will help you with?
Have you previously received a mental health diagnosis from another professional?
Do you have a history of substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, self-harm, or trauma?
What are you looking for in a therapist?
Are you interested in meeting in-person or virtually?
When are you available for sessions?
How did you find me?
Next Steps
After speaking with a few potential therapists, you should have a better sense of the kind of person you would most like to work with. Trust your gut at this point; you have done the work to understand your needs and have gotten to know more about what therapy might be like.
If you have found someone that you feel connected with, reach back out and schedule that first appointment.
If these conversations have left you feeling unsure about the professionals you spoke with, take another look through the directories. The information you have now may be helpful in finding other therapists that are a better fit for you.
Changing Therapists
To wrap up, I also want to mention that even after going through the process of finding a counselor, you sometimes realize after a few sessions that this person was not the right fit. If you are comfortable, it may be worth bringing these concerns up to the person you have begun seeing. It’s possible that they can adapt their style to suit you better, or they may be able to assist you in finding a better fit. If, for whatever reason, that is not an option, you can use the skills you built in finding this initial therapist to support you in taking another go at finding a mental health professional that understands you and your needs.
References
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. (2020). About marriage & family therapists. Aamft.Org. https://www.aamft.org/AAMFT/web/About-Marriage---Family-Therapy/About-Marriage---Family-Therapists.aspx
American Counseling Association. (2024). What is counseling? Counseling.Org. https://www.counseling.org/mental-health-counseling/what-is-counseling
American Psychiatric Association. (2023, January). What is psychiatry? American Psychiatric Association. Psychiatry.Org. https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-psychiatry
American Psychological Association. (2019, December 11). What do practicing psychologists do? Apa.Org.
Barron, J. (2025, March). Therapy session rates by state - SimplePractice blog. SimplePractice. https://www.simplepractice.com/blog/average-therapy-session-rate-by-state/
Cantor, C. (2021, December 7). Talk therapy by U.S. psychiatrists declined by half since 1990s. Columbia University Department of Psychiatry. https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/psychiatrists-providing-talk-therapy-declined-half-1990s
Kichefski, K. (2023). Psychiatric-mental health nursing - psychiatric nursing. American Psychiatric Nurses Association. https://www.apna.org/about-psychiatric-nursing/
Linder, J. (2025, September). Who your therapist is matters more than the model they use. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/relationship-and-trauma-insights/202508/who-your-therapist-is-matters-more-than-the-model-they
National Association of Social Workers. (n.d.). Clinical social work. Socialworkers.Org. Retrieved September 1, 2026, from https://www.socialworkers.org/Practice/Clinical-Social-Work
Zipper-Weber, V. (2025, August). Speaking the Self: How Native-Language Psychotherapy Enables Change in Refugees: A Person-Centered Perspective. PubMed Central. National Library of Medicine. https://www.google.com/url?q=https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12345758/&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1788286664039566&usg=AOvVaw3iUO8IsVxn7Q1V2NSsCJM9
Meet the Writer
Dylan Stancil, MS, APC
Dylan works with teens (15+), young adults & working professionals struggling with today's challenges and worries about an uncertain future. He uses a variety of approaches & prioritizes remaining open-minded, non-judgmental, and curious to create an environment that fosters direct communication and collaboration.
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